Daily Thoughts 20180617 – Father’s Day
So it’s Father’s Day. My daughter called and wished me a happy day.
I appreciated the sentiment, but as I reflect on why I should have a happy day I was seized by an all too typical melancholy.
I, of course, ruminated on it.
I get irritated that our kids should feel obligated to express their gratitude to those of us who have committed ourselves to their upbringing.
I really don’t need gifts.
It’s great to be appreciated, but as a Father I’d rather you express that appreciation through your actions in the world.
Show me that I didn’t screw you up horribly – a secret fear I think most parents share.
Be successful, and by successful I mean happy.
Your happiness (success as a whole well rounded independent individual) brings me more gratification than
any gift you could give me.
On the flip side of that melancholy is the persistent knowledge that I’ve failed my Father.
That I have squandered the time, effort, and money he put into raising me.
That I have failed to live up to his expectations, and failed miserably.
Alas, my father passed a couple of years ago and I never got up the courage to ask him before we were parted – so I shall never know.