Daily Thoughts 20180617 – Father’s Day

So it’s Father’s Day. My daughter called and wished me a happy day.

I appreciated the sentiment, but as I reflect on why I should have a happy day I was seized by an all too typical melancholy.
I, of course, ruminated on it.

I get irritated that our kids should feel obligated to express their gratitude to those of us who have committed ourselves to their upbringing.
I really don’t need gifts.

It’s great to be appreciated, but as a Father I’d rather you express that appreciation through your actions in the world.
Show me that I didn’t screw you up horribly – a secret fear I think most parents share.

Be successful, and by successful I mean happy.
Your happiness (success as a whole well rounded independent individual) brings me more gratification than
any gift you could give me.

On the flip side of that melancholy is the persistent knowledge that I’ve failed my Father.
That I have squandered the time, effort, and money he put into raising me.
That I have failed to live up to his expectations, and failed miserably.
Alas, my father passed a couple of years ago and I never got up the courage to ask him before we were parted – so I shall never know.

Posted on 2018-06-18, in Misc. Writing, Personal Ruminations. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: